via

The internet is evil, evil, evil. It makes me want to paint black walls like this one. I just discovered Door Sixteen, and I've added it to my list of inspirational homes. I've been intrigued by walls painted black for a while now. Every time I see one I'm struck by how warm and sexy it is, not gloomy at all. I want a black accent wall so badly. Gosh, and I'm in love with that wooden shelf right above the bed.

Another home blog that inspires me is The Brick House. I am so friggin' envious of everything Morgan does for her home, and I wish I could harness her thrifting prowess. That woman finds the best deals ever, which is not surprising given that she has a $100 rule: she doesn't spend more than $100 on any one item. Whenever I visit The Brick House blog I'm drooling over all the vintage furniture and decorative items that are strewn about in every nook and cranny of Morgan's home. There's also has a black wall in the house and a black fireplace.

The Dude thinks I'm addicted to design porn. Maybe that's the reason I constantly stress about how our apartment looks. Trying to beautify our place on a microscopic budget gets wearisome real fast. (Plus, I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time). It's very difficult to source affordable vintage furniture in Vancouver. Attempting to decorate our place following the $100 rule in Vancouver would be impossible. If we tried, we'd end up with either an empty space or a place full of ugly, dilapidated furniture.

When I finally began feeling Christmas-y (about two weeks ago), I got me two holiday albums: Pink Martini's Joy to the World and Shelby Lynne's Merry Christmas. The first one took a while to grow on me, but now I absolutely love it. My favourite track on it is the Hebrew song "Elohai, N'tzor." It is absolutely sublime and so moving. I can listen to it a million times and not get sick of it. The other track that really got to me is the Chinese song "Congratulations (A Happy New Year Song)." So fun!

Shelby Lynne's honky tonk Christmas album is a nice break from listening to jazzy Christmas songs, which make up the bulk of my holiday music collection. I love her voice and the way she interprets the classic Christmas songs we're all famliar with. And included in the album are two original tracks she wrote.

I think the selection of these two albums was appropriate for this season because of their atypical offerings. Now I'm kinda sad that Christmas is over because I was just starting to get into it.

  rib & hull

My purse diet officially ended when this tote arrived from rib & hull. It's the first handbag I've bought since 2006! I'm pretty sure that was the last time I bought a purse, and what a fabulous purse it was, a vintage snakeskin clutch that I use for special occasions. Anyway, I've been gifted a few purses during the dry spell, but I'm proud that I resisted buying a handbag for myself in all these years. My purse addiction is no more - I hope. 

Bought this fun orange tote from an Etsy seller based in Poland. It's constructed very well and worth every penny I forked over. I love buying handmade. I also bought from the same seller a case for my scratched up iPod touch, which I mainly use as an alarm clock these days. But now that I have this cool iPod sleeve maybe I'll take it out more often.

This blank wall makes me sad. The plan is to put up wall shelves using the cedar 1x8 we got a month ago. But I haven't been able to find the right hardware to put up the damn shelves. I was waffling between white or black brackets. And when I finally decided on black, of course nothing comes in the size I need. ARRRRRRGH.

Here are the cedar shelves just sitting in our entryway looking rather forlorn. They remind me every day how slow this project is going.

So the hardware that I need is at the Home Depot in the U.S. Home Depot Canada for some stupid, stupid reason doesn't carry the shelf brackets in the size I need. They carry it in white, but not black. jfkajfslafowiejsalkfjsajfklajfdsaklfjsalkfs!!

I've wasted so much time going here and there looking for shelf brackets. I'm just hoping with all my might that the Home Depot in Bellingham, WA will have the goods. While I'm down there I'll pick up other things that I can't get in this third world of a country I call home.

The Dude and I have been having half-serious conversations about moving for a while now. Although we enjoy living in Kerrisdale, the bus that gets us to the places that promise us fun is infrequent and unreliable. Hence, we don't go out as much, and our social life is suffering as a result.

Well, last night we had our first fully serious conversation about moving. We're shooting for next spring, probably in May or June. Exhaustion overcomes me just thinking about moving. But we really do need to move. Ideally, our new place will be near Broadway and Cambie where the 99 B-line bus and the Canada Line are readily accessible. It's such a central location, and we can easily get to all the places that promise us fun. So no more excuses for staying in!

Although I have mixed feelings about moving, in the long run it'll be good. But there are things about Kerrisdale that I'll definitely miss. For example, I particularly love the yoga studio that I frequent, and I'm not sure if it'll be realistic for me to keep going there once it's not within walking distance. This makes me very sad.

Well, one advantage about moving is that I'll have a whole new space to decorate! And I'll get to apply all the lessons I learned from the mistakes I made in our current apartment.

Finally picked up the pine armoire I mentioned before. This is now the second biggest piece of furniture in the apartment. I spent the better part of yesterday afternoon polishing it up with some Feed-N-Wax. I don't think it made a difference. Maybe I should have cleaned it first with wood cleaner before polishing it. Anyway, next month I'll give it another polish and see if it visibly makes an improvement. In the far, far future I want to sand it down and refinish it.

Now the pine armoire has one outstanding flaw, among other problems. It's not square - it does not stand up straight at all. It drives me nuts that it slants very obviously to the left. Sometime in the future I hope to fix this problem. Other than that I love it. It provides a lot of storage, and the dimensions are perfect for our living room. But I feel it's not worth the $369 we paid for it. IKEA had an armoire for $200, but I went with the pine armoire instead because I want as little IKEA furniture that I can get away with. I just tell myself it's worth the price because it's not IKEA, and it replaced a crappy IKEA dresser that used to be in its place, and it's made out of solid wood, and it looks rustic, and we saved it from becoming firewood. Now I don't want to come across as an IKEA hater. I do love some of their products. I just don't want our place to look like an IKEA showroom.

After seeing this project and this project, I was inspired to make a plumping pipe desk in the same style.

First, I found a table at the Salvation Army that I liked. And I took off its ugly legs.

Then I went to Home Depot to get the following supplies to make new legs:

6 - 1/2" x 24" black plumping pipes
4 - 1/2" x 3" black pipe nipples
4 - 1/2" diameter black tees
8 - 1/2" diameter black floor flanges
round felt guards

Before joining all the pipes I washed them with dish soap and water to get the grease off.

I joined one 24" pipe to one end of the tee and then screwed in the pipe nipple to the other end of the tee. Did this 4 times for the 4 legs. Then the remaining two 24" pipes were used to make the crossbar, so you end up with a pair of legs like this:

Next I screwed in the floor flanges to the top of the nipples so that the legs could be attached to the underside of the table like this:

To make sure the legs were going to be attached right I outlined the four holes in the flange on the desk with black marker and drilled pilot holes for the screws that were going to go through the flange holes. I screwed up a bit at this part in that I didn't care to align the flange in such a way so that the crossbar wouldn't be in the way when I used the power drill to screw in the screws. Hence I had to redo the pilot holes in order that they wouldn't be right underneath the crossbar. By the way, the screws I used were the ones that were used to hold the former legs.

Then I attached the rest of the floor flanges to make the feet and stuck some felt pads on them to prevent them from scratching the floor. And, voila, my dream desk!

The Dude, of course, helped me with this project. A hiccup we experienced in the project was that the pipe nipples we originally got were too long (4" nipples) and had to be replaced with shorter ones (3" nipples) so that the desk wouldn't be too tall. The desk ended up being just short of 30" high, which is the standard desk height. Really, it's good to measure twice. Overall, this was a very simple DIY project.

Last thing to do is figure out a way to hide all the wires and cables. Can't stand them.

by Kyu Hwang

The Dude and I checked out the Eastside Culture Crawl this past weekend. We visited a handful of artists' studios, and we were both taken by Kyu Hwang. He's a Korean artist who works out the Parker building just west of Commercial Drive. His work consists mainly of illustrations that are weirdly whimsical. Above is an example. His drawings make you both smile and furrow your eyebrows. His flickr page is worth checking out.

This was the first time we've participated in the Eastside Culture Crawl. Every year I have intended to go but crappy weather usually dissuaded me. We did it for only two hours, but boy oh boy, we were pooped out by the end. It was yet another sign that we're getting old. Seriously, I sometimes feel like the oldest 30-year-old.

We had our first snow fall of the winter over the weekend (well, I guess it's technically still autumn). I don't like snow, especially when I have to go trudging about in it. But I have to admit that when I'm inside all cozy and looking out, it's not too bad.

We had a busy productive weekend. The Dude and I put up some glass wall shelves over the new desk. It looks so awesome. Then, we went to Home Depot and got a super great deal on a 16' long piece of cedar (only $10!). It got cut into four equal parts, which will become wall shelves above the loveseat. Not only do the cedar shelves look rustically beautiful, but they also make our apartment smell divine. It's as if we're deep in a forest. Now I have to find the right shelf brackets. The ones I love are too expensive so I'm looking for a more economical option.

I can't believe our office area is finally coming together. In its former state, it was making me so unhappy. But now it's well on its way to fabulous. It just needs a few more finishing touches and it'll be done.

Ever since deciding on our apartment decor things have been a-changin' here. A few days ago I painted an accent wall the same red as I did the kitchen (Behr Premium Ultra Plus in Carmine Red). I love it. It's such a warm and stimulating colour. It goes very well with our "modern meets the Southwest" decor, or "Southwest Modern" as I like to call it.

We also re-arranged the furniture in the living room, and the red accent wall helps to bring some balance to the layout since all the furniture is pushed up against one wall. Don't want the space to have that bowling alley feel. I also built my dream desk to replace the two desks we got rid of in order to make more space. Pictures of that project will soon be posted.

I have my eye on a rustic pine armoire to be used in our entryway. It'll provide lots of storage of which we are in desperate need. The Dude and I went by the furniture consignment store last night to take another look at it, but it just got rented to a movie production. Hopefully they'll return it in good condition, and we can bring it home in two weeks. 

The other piece of furniture we need is a storage bench with multipurpose functionality. Ideally it will be on casters so that it could act as extra seating or a coffee table. It'll be parked against the red wall when not in use. IKEA has a piece that fits the bill, but it will be our last resort. I'm hoping to find a trunk that has a bit more character.

This weekend we're planning on making further progress in our living room makeover. Maybe by next week our apartment won't look like we just moved into it anymore.

By this time in November, I usually get into the swing of Christmas, but not this year. I'm not feeling it. I get annoyed when I hear Christmas music while I'm out and about - and I normally LOVE Christmas music. I guess I'm just not ready. It came too fast this year. And also I was super annoyed that some stores started putting up holiday decorations in October, way before Halloween. WTF?

Anyway, the Christmas season doesn't really kick off for me until Advent, which this year begins the last Sunday of November. Hopefully by then I'll be in a more Yuletide-ish mood.

Painting the kitchen red was a fortuitous act because shortly thereafter I finally decided on our decor style: modern meets the Southwest. I came to this realization when the Dude and I attended Interior Design Show West back in October. We went to hear interior designer Kelly Deck give her spiel on how to decorate your home. She said one place to find inspiration is to think about a place that really struck you. For me it was a resort I stayed at in Palm Desert, California a long, long time ago. I totally fell in love with the hotel's decor, which was a very updated, modern Southwestern palette. I used to think Southwestern decor was the tackiest way you could decorate your house, but when I saw how tastefully it was done I was bowled over. I told myself that I would want to decorate my home in that way someday. But then I forgot all about it. Until now.

I'm so relieved I finally have a focus. Ever since we moved into our apartment more than a year ago I've been waffling between various decor styles, and it was driving me up the wall. When you try to decorate without a particular look in mind you end up making bad choices, which have been plenty around here. But now that I know what sort of decor I want to do in our apartment it's so much easier to make decisions on furniture and colours. I'm very excited about my "modern meets the Southwest" idea, especially since I feel like it's genuinely me rather than me trying to adhere to what magazines or the design blogsphere dictate I do. I've always loved the desert, and I want to bring part of it here to rainy Vancouver.

So a rusty red is going to be the main colour accent in our Southwestern palette, or as the Dude likes to call it, "Tex-mex" decor. 

A paint job that I'm satisfied with very much is our kitchen. Unfortunately, I have no "before" pictures of it. The kitchen was originally painted your typical white. Then, I painted it a pale yellow. But the colour I really wanted it to be was a red-orange. So finally, after a year of living with yellow kitchen walls, I went about finding the right shade of red. I paid a little visit to Home Depot and got a bunch of paint chips. Then, I put up on the wall the top four I liked. For a week I observed how the paint chips looked during various times in the day and finally made my choice. It's Behr Premium Ultra Plus in Carmine Red.

Red is supposed to whet your appetite. I also find it to be a very stimulating colour.

Last year I painted our IKEA Gorm shelves a very bright blue. Superman Blue is what I called it. I quickly realized I had made the wrong colour choice.

A couple months ago I repainted them white. I like them a little better, but I'm still not satisfied. I guess no matter what you do, Gorm shelves are just always going to look crappy. These shelves were intended to be used in the garage.

Behold, the best croissants ever. EVER. I have searched high and low in Vancouver, and these are the best in flavour, texture, density, flakiness, and buttery goodness.

Baked by the chefs-in-training at PICA, which I pass by whenever I go into work at Granville Island.

Blogging more than usual these days. I guess it's moving up my priority list.

I'm addicted to heirloom tomatoes although I don't eat them. Wish I could, but my bladder doesn't like it. Damn IC. I enjoy them vicariously through the Dude who loves eating the luscious fruit. Anyway, I went to the farmer's market today to get the yummiest heirloom tomatoes, melons, and cucumber from my favourite farmer. When it comes to quality food, I don't mind spending a bit more than usual. It's totally worth it. And farmers need all the support they can get.

I don't know which font I hate more: Papyrus or Comic Sans. Both offend my eyes whenever I see them. If a business uses either I will seriously reconsider being a customer.

My mother calls the Dude an angel, which I find very amusing because I thought hell-bound atheists aren't qualified to be angels.

In the beginning of our relationship, I was worried sick about what my conservative Christian parents would think about my being with a non-Christian guy. Well, it turns out I really had nothing to fret about because they absolutely adore him. I sometimes seriously think they love him more than me. Well, he's a lot nicer to them than I am so I guess I shouldn't be surprised if they fawn over him more than me. Ha!

Nevertheless, my mother still reminds me each time we talk on the phone to pray for my husband's salvation.

I found out the day after that Hall & Oates were in town to do a show. I was devastated that I missed them. Not kidding. Devastated.

I wish I had more time to blog.

I haven't posted for a long time because my days got a lot more hectic since the end of May. I started a new job, and although it's only part-time I have a lot less time to do the stuff I used to. My new job is at the Granville Island Public Market, one of my ultimate favourite places in Vancouver. I work at a specialty foods shop that mainly sells ethnic food products.

Of course, I still run my vintage shop on Etsy. And I volunteer at the thrift shop. And now the UBC Farm is in full swing so I'll be back on the fields.

My shop Sugarpush Vintage was featured on the Etsy blog again. Yay! This Swingline stapler was chosen for this week's edition of Etsy Finds Decor. I found it at an estate sale in my neighbourhood. Anyway, being featured in the Etsy blog brings a lot of exposure to my shop, and my fairly new shop needs all the publicity it can get.

Also, an artist who's a fellow Etsyan just approached me today about using this product shot of the stapler for a painting she wants to do. I feel quite flattered! I gave her permission, and I'm looking forward to the finished artwork.

A few nights ago the Dude and I went to the CBC studio to watch a friend compete in a radio game show about Canadian trivia. I learned that the province of Newfoundland (oh, excuse me, officially it's Newfoundland and Labrador) has weird town names that sound like sex toys. One of them is actually called Dildo. God, I love this country.

While on the topic of sex...I recently saw the infamous Paris Hilton sex tape. Yeah, it takes a me a while to catch up with pop culture. It was incredibly lame. It shouldn't even be really called a "sex tape" because there is no sex happening at all. It's just her half-naked, prancing around or rolling around in bed showing off her tits. Now I find her even more annoying than ever.

{photo via www.stepback.ca}

My favouritest store in Vancouver, maybe even on this planet, is a vintage home decor store in Kitsilano. It's called Stepback and what I love about the store is how well curated it is. They display their merchandise in such a way that you want to live in the store among all the beautiful vintage things they sell. I bought a few items there for our wedding reception that I still dearly love to this day. Whenever I pass by the store I look into their window and salivate, longing for all that's inside. I dare not go in because it's so hard to resist from buying something. I seriously wish I could live in that store. It's like a brick and mortar version of a fabulous Etsy vintage shop.

And it's the store that inspired me to collect vintage and start an online shop selling what I find on Etsy. I asked one of the owners where they find all their fabulous things and he said that he goes out to the Fraser Valley. I don't have a car so I can't go that far to treasure hunt. But I'm glad that someone's rescuing all this fabulous vintage stuff that would otherwise be discarded. The people at Stepback are very good at cleaning it up and displaying it in such a way that restores it's worth and value, as a result making it desirable to someone who would take it to a good home. Doing this sort of work is both an art and an eco-friendly practice.

Ever since my lactose intolerance got really bad, I've been painfully off ice cream. When I lived in L.A. I used to treat myself to the best vegan ice cream ever at Scoops. It wasn't sorbet. It was a soy-based gelato that was pretty darn close to the real deal. In Vancouver, I've been virtually deprived...until recently. I've modified a recipe for a creamy frozen treat that I got from Alive magazine. It tastes as good as ice cream but it has no dairy! And it's super, super easy to make. And I always have the ingredients on hand.


Chocolate banana peanut butter frozen delight
Makes 6-7 servings

3 ripe bananas
1/2 cup of smooth natural peanut butter (I'm sure crunchy is OK too)
2 Tbsp cocoa powder
2 - 4 Tbsp honey (I like it with just 2)

Combine all ingredients in a food processor and blend until it becomes a thick liquid. (You can also mash the bananas by hand using a potato masher or a fork first, then mix in the rest of the ingredients).

Prepare a muffin tin by lightly greasing it with vegetable oil. Scoop mixture into each muffin cup. Place in freezer for at least 2 hours. Then enjoy!

This past weekend I made my rounds at estate sales and yard sales as per usual. During each outing I always encounter that one very special find, and this time around it was something very special indeed. I scored at 1947 printing of Dorothy Draper's Decorating is Fun! for 50 measly cents (it was first published in 1939). I mentioned her in a previous blog. Draper's  book is a classic, and as someone who's very into interior design, I'm so stoked to have this book in my possession. The part that tickles me the most is that it still has the Eaton's price sticker on it for $3.49. I'm not planning to sell the book in my vintage shop. This one's for moi.

This camera from my vintage home decor shop, Sugarpush Vintage, was featured in an Etsy blog post today! Check it out. It's chock full of home decor goodies. There are so many amazing vintage pieces being sold on Etsy. Makes me wish I had lots of disposable income so I can hoard all the treasures I find.

Ever since being diagnosed with BPS/IC, I've had to stop drinking coffee and tea. Not drinking the latter has been the hardest. So I'm beginning to look for alternative drinks that don't irritate my bladder. Lately, I've been experimenting with basil tea. Although herbal teas do irritate people with IC, I'm testing if some particular herbs are better than others. I haven't tested the pH level of basil tea, but I'm guessing it's a lot better than drinking something caffeinated.

My recipe for Basil Tea.

Boil 3 cups of water. Steep two teaspoons of dried basil in the hot water for 10 minutes. Discard the herbs. Add honey to taste.

Add additional water until it's at the strength you like. I usually add between 1-2 cups of water. Then I refrigerate to turn it into an iced tea.

Very refreshing. And kind of minty.

I love these retro alarm clock/radios made by General Electric mainly because I'm very impressed by the sound they put out. It's a lot better than you would expect, especially out of something that's at least 20 years old. I grew up with a really crappy alarm clock/radio, and so I assumed they all came with bad quality speakers because of their small size. The one on the left I own, and the one on the right I'm selling in my vintage shop. Another thing to love about these radios is the beautiful wood grain finish that just makes them look so cool and so very old-school.

And today I started using Picnik, an awesome online photo editing tool. I used it to make the simple collage above.

There have been lots of church thrift sales this month. In the photo are some items I'll be listing soon in my vintage shop. They're treasures I scored at a church rummage sale I went to yesterday. The little dog figurine is made by Blue Mountain Pottery. He's very cute.

This week I prepared a meal with non-fish meat for the first time since 2002, which was when I cut out beef, poultry, and pork from my diet. So what did I use? Turkey sausage. I used to love sausage. Turns out I still do.

This past January I decided to start eating meat again because the doctor put me on a diet that restricted certain foods due to a bladder condition I've developed. So in order to make things easier when I eat out at a restaurant or someone's home and be able to keep my new diet, I've chosen to eat meat again to widen my options.

So far, I mainly eat turkey. That's the only meat I really crave. I've forgotten how filling meat is, and I find that I need to eat smaller portions when eating animal flesh.

This is a project that I worked on last fall when we moved into our new apartment. Our kitchen being tiny, we needed extra storage space for our appliances, cookbooks, and what not. And we were on a tight budget, so to Ikea we went to pick up a couple of Gorm shelves. After a few coats of paint (which took almost a month to put on!) this was the result.



I was too quick to choose the colour for these shelves. One valuable lesson learned was live in a space for a while before making major decisions on decor. So these shelves will be repainted this summer.

I've harboured a secret ambition to be a farmer since my university days, maybe even earlier than that. Alas, I only get to "play" farmer when I volunteer at the UBC Farm. The season is about to start and volunteers will get to work on the fields come May.

I don't know where my romantic notions of farming come from. Maybe it's from the books I read growing up. Who knows?

Living in an apartment limits my farming aspirations to the balcony. But it faces northeast so it only gets a wee bit of sun in the mornings. For the time being I've filled the planter box I made last summer with colourful little flowers that are thriving - to my utter surprise. In a couple months I may plant some herbs. And maybe even some lettuce! We shall see how they do.

Yay, my Easter Tree is finally done! Just in time. These eggs were addictive to make. Easy, quick knit, just the way I like it.

I've been seeing chalkboards all over the design blogosphere and am totally in love with them. So I decided to make one of my own! I got a picture with a frame I liked from the thrift shop where I volunteer. Then, I took it apart, removing the picture and the glass. The picture I set aside to give to a fellow volunteer who wanted it, and I painted the glass with a coat of primer (used Painter's Touch grey primer spray paint). Then I sprayed a few coats of black chalkboard spray paint. And voila! A beautiful chalkboard on which to write inspiring quotes or silly messages. Love, love, love it!

I was looking to do an instant gratification DIY project and so I made a paper flag garland. Now one of our bare walls is finally decorated. The great thing about these garlands is that you can change them up with the seasons. During the holidays I had a snowflake paper doily garland up.

This garland is super easy to make. Cut out a triangle template. Trace it on scrap paper you may have lying around. Cut out a bunch of triangles. Punch two tiny holes at the top two corners of each triangle. Run a string through them and voila, a cute paper garland!

It's hard to resist to make more of these garlands and put them up everywhere: hanging from doorways, across a mirror, the wall in front of my desk, across a window or shelf, etc.

And I also recently finished another DIY project to occupy another bare wall. Can't wait to show it off!

After seeing a minimalist 250 sq. foot apartment on the Tiny-Ass Apartment blog, I got the itch to do another purge. I really, really want to live with as little as possible. But it's so hard when you like to do crafty things. So I keep accumulating supplies. Argh.

Speaking of being crafty, I also have the itch to make something. Now that the weather is warming up and days are getting longer, I'm hoping to do some furniture refinishing projects again. There's so many beautiful things I want to make but so little time. Anyway, I really need to pick up a paintbrush and paint something or I'll go batty. Gonna pick up some spray paint today. Can't afford to buy art for our bare walls so I'm gonna have to make it myself. I'm going to attempt my own rendition of the project above, courtesy of Krylon.

During the weekend the Dude and I checked out the Paralympic games. We saw wheelchair curling and ice sledge hockey. Wheelchair curling surprisingly was way more fun than I anticipated. I never really understood curling and watching a live game was a good opportunity to learn the game. However, I must say that I can't help but regard curling a game more than a sport. In any case, I think I'm a fan now. This is another indication that I'm becoming more and more Canadianized.

I love that I can walk to the yoga studio.
I love that I can walk to my favourite hardware store.
I love that I can walk to my favourite cafe.
I love that I can walk to my church.
I love that I can walk to my favourite grocery store.
I love that I can walk to the thrift shop where I volunteer.
I love that I can walk to the public library.
I love that I can walk to the pub.
I love that I can walk to McDonald's whenever I crave their apple pie.
I love that I can walk to a bakery to get a fresh loaf of bread.

All that's missing in our neighbourhood is a knitting shop! But maybe that's a good thing...

The other night in my knitting group, people started sharing birth stories. Now whenever this particular topic arises, it usually involves horrific tales of woe and pain. Hearing these stories only exacerbates my fear of giving birth. And when I heard one that involved 63 stitches my gut reaction was to exclaim, "I'm never having children!" Sheesh. Really, I don't know how I'm going to have the courage to go through being in labour. One thing's for sure, I don't want to experience it any time soon.